Remembering

It's hard to believe that the tragic events of 9-11 took place ten years ago.Then, I look at the ten year old sitting at the breakfast table and remember that yes, of course it was ten years ago.
None of my children were here that day. I was hugely pregnant and on bed rest with my oldest daughter, Daisey.
I remember watching the news in horror throughout the day. I bawled, as the realness began to set in. I felt such sorrow for those who had lost their lives and for those who had lost their loved ones. I felt fear for what might happen next . Being pregnant, I felt fear for my unborn child. I was soon going to have a little person to love and keep safe. How could I keep her safe from something like this? How could I bring a child in to a world filled with evil?
Daisey came in to our lives 8 days later and filled our lives with joy. I realized that life must go on. I felt a great sense of  pride that I would bring something so beautiful into this world filled with evil. Although there is ugliness in this world, there is also beauty and joy.
As my children get older they have more and more questions. Especially that ten year old! Daisey is a girl who just HAS to know WHY! Seeing as how I don't fully understand myself why all these terrible things happened, it's difficult to try and explain them to my children.
Earlier this week we had a conversation that went like this, "But, WHY would those bad guys fly airplanes in to the buildings? Why do they hate us so much?"
"I don't know," I reply, feeling very unsure how to continue to this conversation.
"Didn't they know that they would die too?", my Isaac asks.
"I guess they did. And, it's very sad. Sometimes people makes bad choices and do bad things."
"But, we know not to do bad things, huh Mom?", Maggie chimes in.
Well, there you have it. If there is one thing that they can learn, it would be that violence is never the answer. If I can teach my children to love their fellow men, then I will feel like I've done my job.
I have tried to focus on the positive side and tell my children about all the heroes who saved lives that day and how our nation came together. I've tried to teach them that we can remember and honor the lives that were lost that day.
I'm not saying I know all the answers, or that I even handled this the right way. Being a parent is a tough job. Kids don't come with a manual. It would be nice if they came with a guidebook filled with answers to the endless questions they ask! Until they come up with one, my husband and I will continue to roll with the punches in this adventure called Parenthood!
This is a video I watched with my kids on nickelodeon.com. I felt like it was helpful in answering their questions, but in a sensitive manner without scaring them.
http://www.nick.com/videos/clip/nick-news-what-happened-the-true-story-of-september-11th-full-episode.html
May we never forget.

My Grandma

This morning I said goodbye to my dear, sweet grandmother, MayBell Hoopes Burton. My grandma was born on Nov. 18, 1917. She passed away on January 9, 2011. 93 years of loving and living! Grandma was the mother of 8, the grandmother of 51 and the great grandmother of 123. Wow! She lived her life with grace (and spunk!)
To know her was to love her and boy, was she loved! The love that filled the room at Grandma's funeral today was so strong you could almost touch it!
I've had very mixed feelings today and the last couple of weeks. I miss my grandmother so much it hurts. But, I've been missing her for a long time now. In her last years she suffered from Alzheimer's. Grandma hasn't been Grandma in years. Along with sadness and missing Grandma, I am so very happy for her that she has joined my grandfather in their heavenly home. At the funeral my cousin, Shawn made the comment that the Alzheimer's may have been a blessing in disguise. If she had known that Grandpa was gone for the last 5 years she would have missed him terribly.



I'd like to share a story that my sister, Valerie wrote for a school paper. She has such a beautiful way with words and a soul wiser than her 15 years.

A 93 year old woman was lying on her hospital bed, looking off into space, a space that no one else could go. When my sister and I walked in she looked at us with those lifeless, vacant brown eyes. "Hi Grandma," said Brittany. There was no response. We went over and sat on the bed next to her. The age spot covered fingers that used to be busy crocheting and filling the kitchen with the aroma of homemade bread and cookies were now rigid and grasping my hand so tight, as if asking for help.
She wasn't always like this. She used to be a strong minded, witty person who was always full of life. Whenever I went to her house she would get off of her little rocking chair, take me to the kitchen, where she'd pick me up and set me on the red counter top and find some kind of delicious dessert in the freezer. She unfailingly saved desserts in her freezer for when company would come over. Something was always baking in the aluminum pans that filled the house. Grandma made the yummiest banana chocolate chip cookies in the world!
Other than her family, her favorite things was the red and yellow tulips that grew every spring in front of her little blue house. Her life had once been vibrant and colorful, but was now fading into winter, just as the flowers had done, right before my helpless eyes.
We tried to talk to her, but she would never respond. You could almost see the fear that she had within each pore. Lines and creases covered her face. I looked at those familiar brown eyes, but no spark of recognition when she looks back at me. She doesn't know who I am. I'm a stranger in the room. How can you miss someone so much when she's sitting right before you?
The old woman that I used to know is slipping through the cracks of time. Alzheimer's is hard on everyone who surrounds the person that it has control over. Every goodbye between us is long and lingering. We never know which one will be our last.

My Grandma Burton taught me so much, simply by living her life. She made the world a better place just by being a part of it. I pray that I can follow in her footsteps. It's a comfort to know that this is not goodbye and I will see her again someday.

For everything there is a season

This week has been an emotional roller coaster. Yesterday we attended a funeral. The day before, a wedding. Last Sunday was a baby blessing.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds me that God has a plan for each of us. It's hard to trust in Him and believe that everything happens for a reason. I've been thinking about this scripture as I rejoice in the new life of my nephew, share in the happiness of my newly married friend and mourn the loss of my dear cousin.

Life is precious. Precious time...precious life...far too short.

For everything there is a season,

And a time for every matter under heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die;

A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal;

A time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh;

A time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to seek, and a time to lose;

A time to keep, and a time to throw away;

A time to tear, and a time to sew;

A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate,

A time for war, and a time for peace.

It really puts things into perspective for me. Life is a gift and I need to embrace it.

Starting today I will strive to live life to it's fullest.

I will delight in the sweet and giggly moments with my children.

I will take chances.

I will appreciate the beauty around me in the world.

I will tell the people I love that I love them. And I will tell them often.

I will date my husband. Even if it's only eating popcorn on a blanket in our backyard!

I will count my blessings and remember how truly blessed I am.

Thankful

I know, I'm a little late, but technically Thanksgiving weekend isn't over! I didn't want this time of thankfulness to pass by without me acknowledging the many blessings I have in my life.

This is our "thankful tree". We wrote down the things that we're thankful for in our lives on colored paper leaves and hung them on the tree. It was fun to see what the kids had to say and I think it's important for them to think about the blessings that they have in their lives especially right now during the holiday season when all that they see on tv is how important materialistic things are.

Ok, moving on and stepping off my soap box....

Daisey is thankful for:

~Mom

~Dad

~Isaac

~Maggie

~friends

~cousins

~grandparents

~school

~clothes

~shoes

~movies

~books

~home

Isaac is thankful for:

~Mom and Dad

~Grandma

~Grandpa

~school

~USA

~that he is healthy

~food

~toys

Maggie is thankful for:

~Mommy and Daddy

~socks and shoes

~toys

~food

~chocolate

~milk

~bed

~Elmo

I am thankful for 3 happy, healthy children.
I am thankful for a loving, hard working husband who also happens to be my best friend.
I am thankful for for our extended families that give us love and support.
I am thankful Diet Coke, chocolate and french fries!
I am thankful for a warm house to live in, a soft bed to sleep in, food in my kitchen, gas in my car.

I am thankful for wonderful friends and the good times we share!

I am thankful for music!

I am thankful for the knowledge that there is a God in Heaven who loves me and has a plan for me.
I am thankful to live in the land of the free and I am thankful for the brave men and women that fight to keep our country that way.
I am thankful that both my husband and I have jobs during this difficult time.
I am thankful for chick flicks and mystery novels!
I am thankful for my piano!
I am thankful my education!
I am thankful for bubble baths!
I am thankful for the beautiful fall leaves!
I am thankful for craft stores!
I am thankful for my health and the health of my family.

We spent Thanks-giving with Robert's family. There was lots of food, family and fun.

Tonight we had a second dinner here at our house with my side of the family.

We got to enjoy food, family and fun twice in one week!

And tomorrow is the beginning of the whirlwind that is December! Our kids can't wait to put the Christmas tree up and we're listening to our Christmas music!

It's the most wonderful time of the year! :)